My life...

You know how much it sucks not to be normal? Not to be happy? I don't remember the last time I felt genuinely happy about something. My life is just a jumbled up mess. I don't want to keep seeing special doctors about my migraines or keep seeing a psychiatrist or keep seeing a therapist because I just want to be NORMAL. That's too much to ask. I don't want to deal with this crap anymore. I can't handle the questions. What's wrong? Why do you do this to yourself? Why can't you be normal? I don't like the names some people call me. I don't want to be the "freak" or the  "emo girl" or anything. I don't want these things to define who I am but it seems like that isn't really in my control. I write to express myself, but when people read my writing, the usual response is "that is really depressing". Welcome to my life. Depression is my life. I live it and I hate it, but its not something that you can turn on and off. I can't just stop all my problems because its not a fad or attention seeking. I am genuinely messed up in the head. I can't even begin to list the worst of my problems because I am scared that more people than necessary would find out and start a whole different trail of problems. Most of the time I regret telling my parents because they treat me different and they are constantly worried about me. I hope to God they haven't told anyone else in the family. I'm just a burden to everyone I meet...